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Revelations Theatre 3000
FIGHTING ABSURDITY WITH ABSURDITY
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THE SEVEN CHURCHES
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1 The first part of revelations is to the seven churches in the province of Asia.
The actual revelations (where the world starts ending and stuff) doesn't happen till Revelations 4:1. (Which, for you conspiracy theorists, is $:! on your keyboard. Meaning revelations is about money and war... or money and ah!)
2 But, before 4:1, I got to talk about 1:4...
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Ever wonder about the long-winded praising? Here's 1:4 starting from the 2nd sentence...
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"Grace and peace from the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come; from the sevenfold Spirit before his throne; and from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness to these things, the first to rise from the dead, and the commander of all the rulers of the world.
All praise to him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by shedding his blood for us. He has made us his kingdom and his priests who serve before God his Father. Give to him everlasting glory! He rules forever and ever! Amen!"
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3 Now you would think that the "Amen" was the finisher. No. It's not.
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"Look! He comes with the clouds of heaven. And everyone will see him - even those who pierced him. And all the nations of the earth will weep because of him. Yes! Amen!
'I am the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end,' says the Lord God. 'I am the one who is, who is still to come, the Almighty One.'"
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4 I know God's big... But does it really have to take a 163 words to introduce him? There's always been this OCD element about devout behavior. It's got to be repeated, again and again, more emphatically than the last.
It may be religious zeal.
It may be psychosis.
Who knows?
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5 But enough about that. Revelations 1 - 3 covers the Son of Man dictating letters for John to write to the seven churches. The letters are progress reports: detailing each church's strengths and weaknesses, and praising and threatening accordingly.
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6 What is interesting are the ending paragraphs to each letter.
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To each church, if they're good, an item is promised. You've heard of the "tree of knowledge," "ark of the covenant," even the "river of life." But have you've heard of the "tree of life," or the "crown of life?" How about white stones with your secret name on it?
7 With his message to the Church in Thyatira, the Son of Man offers the
"Morning Star!" to all those victorious.
8 But, eventually, the stuff runs out. Still, if you hear Him calling and open the door, you get to sit with Jesus for a day!
But not Sardis... Sardis gets nothing. (REV 3:1)
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Now we can actually discuss revelations.
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